PINKY AND THE BRAIN FAN FICTION
FIFI MEETS PINKY AND THE BRAIN 2
Written by Stephen Ricketts
Tiny Toon Adventures & Pinky and the Brain (c) Warner Bros
AUTHOR’S NOTE: For those of you who didn’t like the original story written by myself and Rkerekes13, I apologise. Even I thought it was ridiculous. Here’s a completely different version, written by myself, and I hope it’s better than the last one. If this version is better, let me know. If not, I apologise, again.
PINKY AND THE BRAIN INTRO
PINKY: ‘Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?’
BRAIN: ‘Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!’
They’re Pinky and the Brain!
Yes, Pinky and the Brain!
One is a genius, the other’s insane!
They’re laboratory mice!
Their genes have been spliced!
They’re dinky, they’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
Before each night is done, their plan will be unfurled!
By the dawning of the sun, they’ll take over the world!
They’re Pinky and the Brain!
Yes, Pinky and the Brain!
Their twilight campaign!
Is easy to explain!
To prove their mousey worth!
They’ll overthrow the Earth!
They’re dinky, they’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
Narf!
OUTSIDE THE WARNER STUDIO
The place was guarded by two security guards. Pinky and the Brain watched from a corner nearby.
BRAIN: ‘Look, Pinky. The Warner Brothers Studio. My plan is to appear on TV, and make fans adore me, so they will make us their rulers.’
PINKY: ‘But Brain, we tried that once before.’
BRAIN: ‘I know we did. I calculated my mistakes, and we won’t fail this time. The only problem is getting past those two guards. I once tried it, and they caught me easily.’
They looked at the two guards.
GUARD 1: ‘Not even a mouse will get past us.’
GUARD 2: ‘Yeah, we’ll do a better job than that idiot Ralph, who hasn’t successfully captured those Warner kids.’
GUARD 1: (nervously) ‘But what if a skunk tries to get in here?’
GUARD 2: (panicking) ‘Skunk?! Where?!’
GUARD 1: ‘There is no skunk here! I’m just saying what happens if one did show up? I mean, after we saw, “Skunknophobia,” we both became absolutely terrified of skunks.’
Brain got an idea.
BRAIN: ‘Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?’
PINKY: ‘I think so Brain, but I think Johnny Pew was great in that movie.’
Brain whacked Pinky on the head.
BRAIN: ‘Those two are scared of skunks. I have an idea. We must make our way back to the lab.’
ACME LAB
Pinky and the Brain stood in front of a laser gun.
BRAIN: (working at the control panel) ‘With this Animaliser I built, I can turn us into skunks. It will last about thirty minutes, which is enough time to get us into the Warner Studio, and get ready to audition for one of their top rated shows.’
PINKY: ‘Egad, Brain, brilliant! Oh no wait. What if those guards keep us out when we show up for work?’
BRAIN: ‘We will have our own trailer. Now let’s get to work on my plan.’
He and Pinky stood in front of the laser. He pressed the button on the remote in his hand, and the laser fired. The beam changed Pinky and the Brain into skunks. They also increased to the size of a normal toon skunk.
BRAIN: (looking at himself in the mirror) ‘Yes!’
PINKY: ‘Hey Brain. (Waving his tail) Au revoir, mon petite potato de couch, Narf!’
BRAIN: (grabbing Pinky by the muzzle) ‘Stop it, Pinky, or I shall have to hurt you!’
OUTSIDE THE WARNER STUDIO
Pinky and the Brain walked up to the security guards, who became scared.
GUARD 1: ‘Skunks! Please don’t hurt us!’
BRAIN: ‘Actually we are a two lab mice disguised as skunks as part of an elaborate scheme to take over the world.’
GUARD 2: ‘Whatever just don’t hurt us!’
Suddenly, Fifi La Fume showed up, and Pinky saw her.
PINKY: ‘Hey look! It’s Fifi La Fume!’
BRAIN: ‘Not now Pinky. (Spots Fifi) Oh no.’
Fifi spotted Pinky and the Brain, and became love struck.
FIFI: ‘Ooh la la! Two king size skunk hunks!’
BRAIN: ‘Run, Pinky!’
The Brain ran and Pinky just screamed. Fifi grabbed Pinky and kissed him.
FIFI: ‘Vou are so how you say, gorgeous.’
She continued kissing him. Pinky caught her scent and turned green. He came to his senses and screamed. He got free of Fifi and ran off.
FIFI: ‘You cannot escape from zee true love.’
ACME PARK
The two skunks ran along a footpath.
PINKY: (catching up with the Brain) ‘I thought we can easily withstand a skunk now that we are skunks.’
BRAIN: ‘We just look like skunks! We don’t have any other traits! And that includes the putrid smell! We have to lose her, and get on with our plan before time runs out!’
The two skunks ran to the men’s’ room, and hid inside.
BRAIN: ‘We’ll be safe in here.’
Fifi’s tail came through under the door, and snared the Brain, and pulled him out again. Fifi hugged the Brain.
FIFI: ‘You cannot hide from me, (Smothers him with kisses). Come weeth me to zee cazbar (Smothers him with more kisses). We weel make lovely museec together.’
She kisses him fully on the lips. The door opened and knocked Fifi and the Brain out. Pinky came out of the bathroom. He saw Fifi and the Brain unconscious on the ground.
PINKY: (slapping Brain in the face) ‘Wake up, Brain.’
BRAIN: ‘What happened? (Spots Fifi) She’s unconscious. We must make our way back to the Warner Studios, before time runs out.’
He grabbed Pinky and they ran off.
OUTSIDE THE WARNER STUDIO
The two skunks ran up to the entrance again.
BRAIN: ‘We made it. Now we can continue with our plan to…’
Suddenly they were snared by Fifi’s tail.
FIFI: ‘I am how you say, back!’
She kissed them both.
BRAIN: (getting free) ‘We’ve only got three minutes left!’
They ran off.
FIFI: ‘You don’t have three minutes. With me, you have all zee time in zee world.’
They ran off and hid behind a trash can.
PINKY: ‘What are we going to do, Brain? We can’t lose her. This is just like one of her cartoons.’
BRAIN: ‘You watch way too much television, Pinky.’
Suddenly they changed back into mice.
PINKY: ‘What happened?’
BRAIN: ‘The thirty minutes are up. We are mice again. And our plan for tonight is ruined.’
FIFI: (walking up to them) ‘Excuse me, leetle mice, but have you seen two beeg skunks around here?’
PINKY: ‘Yes we did. That was us…’
BRAIN: (covering up Pinky’s mouth) ‘I can honestly say we haven’t.’
FIFI: ‘Le sigh. I’m alone again. (Walks off crying) Le boo. Le boo hoo.’
PINKY: ‘Well, it looks like our problems are over!’
Suddenly Sylvester came out of the trash can.
SYLVESTER: ‘Thufferin Thuccotash. I have found lunch!’
BRAIN: ‘Not again!’
They ran off, and Sylvester chased after them. Suddenly Sylvester saw a truck heading his way. He screamed and ran for it. He got ran over by the truck, and ended up with white paint on his back, as the truck was doing the road. Sylvester got up and was all dizzy from the accident. He came to his senses.
SYLVESTER: ‘Now where are those two mice?’
Fifi walked up to him.
FIFI: ‘Ooh la la! Another skunk hunk!’
Sylvester noticed the white stripe on his back. He screamed and ran away from Fifi.
FIFI: ‘I weel find you!’
She skipped after Sylvester, and Pinky and the Brain saw them.
BRAIN: ‘Now that those two are out of the way, we can concentrate on tomorrow night.’
PINKY: ‘Why Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?’
BRAIN: ‘The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!’
They’re dinky, they’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!
THE END
20.3.2008